This Long Distance Is Killing Me – Part 1

I was in a long-distance courtship which lasted for about three years and even continued after the wedding for about 6 months so yeah i have one or two things to say about this topic.

I’m currently writing a book concerning my long-distance relationship journey but I would be giving a part of it away in this article.

I have a number of thought to share but there’s only so much I can talk about in this article. Long-distance relationship affects everyone one way or the other but I would emphasize more on family relationships before I talk about lovers in another article.

I was in a long-distance courtship which lasted for about three years and even continued after the wedding for about 6 months so yeah i have one or two things to say about this topic.

We are living in a time where almost every young person’s goal is to relocate abroad for the sake of knowledge and greener pastures , although this is more common in Africa or say countries with low economical state; but it is now more popular because people are starting to give up their hope for a better country.

Relocating can be exciting and adventurous because one is leaving the old and welcoming the new but the truth us that its comes with its own challenging and not everyone can cope however, theres always a solution to everything. Leaving the familiar into the unfamiliar, also includes having to leave friends, families and the experiences one is already used to in other to form an entirely different one. This can be hard and extremely difficult, its as though you are leaving a huge part of you and it is never an easy decision. 

Long-distance is not just common among lovers but also among families and friends and it can take a toll on a person if care is not taken. For instance i decided to take a short break off social media recently just to breath and guess what happened, my mother!. Get this, prior to my social-media break, we communicate once a week or thrice in two weeks but ever since the break she calls my husband like almost everyday simply because she is bothered about my sudden desire to go off social media, it almost feels to her like I’m trying to cut every body off including her; I’m sure that was how she interpreted it. She was worried sick that I just had to download the apps back; meanwhile this would not have happened if we were in the same country or state and I can just easily go see her.

Long-distance also confers some form of responsibility on you, and you have to stand up to the occasion. This is where the term “black tax” comes in; i didn’t even know it had a term attached to it until about three months ago. Truth is people have this ideology at the front of their minds that ones a person relocates, there’s a huge amount of cash already awaiting the you. You are held in such a high demand that it can be drenching. Lucky for me, i come from a very understanding family that i’m not pressured at all in any way even if they have to send assistance from Nigeria, they will. People need to understand that there is such thing as a building stage and it takes time. If they have your best interest at heart, they would allow you build before mounting so much pressure on you.

Families and friends are beautiful and they encourage us to be the best version of ourselves or at least this is how it ought to be. Let’s be encourage to do this irrespective of where we find ourselves in the nearest future. It is good to support one another to be best of our capacity. 

Mariam Yekinni is a Physiotherapist by profession, a photographer, a writer, an advocate for the boy-child and a creative.

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