Written by : Mariam Yekinni
There are a lot of things you have to tolerate in life but a bad friendship cannot be one.
For some reason, I’ve always been lucky with having good friends. Not sure why but one thing I know is that I’m very deliberate about people I let in my space.
My life in high school ended well because of the friends I eventually made. I was kind of bullied in school because I had some academic challenges due to late admission, I couldn’t catch up with the school curriculum and of course, the school couldn’t care less so far my school fees was being paid. I was left to figure a lot of things out by myself coupled with the fact I was living in the boarding house. Anyways I repeated a class and I just didn’t fit in because i was embarrassed of myself, this made me timid and less confident inmyself.
I was always alone mostly because I didn’t get to know my previous classmates well enough before moving to a lower class. So technically, I spent a term with them, which wasn’t enough plus because I was new, people were reluctant to bring me in and they were not that friendly anyway.
The thing is I wonder why that is? How do children get to a point where they are okay with making other people uncomfortable? I mean how does a child become so mean to another child that they feel unsafe and unloved. The only explanation I can give to this is poor parenting.
Children are great mimics and what they are exposed to overtime, they tend to replicate. The behaviours you do not address will thrive. But I will leave this parenthood talk for another day.
A sense to belong and to be accepted by at least one good person made me
start studying people and their behaviours till I was able to find at least one person whom I was comfortable with. This girl ended up being a sweet soul, she was kind, knowledgeable, smart, empathetic, brave, respectful, and really friendly, and 16 years after we still have a good bond.
Fast forward to when I got into medical school, it just miraculously happened. In our first year that a bunch of us attended a church event and ended up connecting on a very deep level and the rest they say is history. We share similar values, beliefs, and interests, and yes we had our differences and uniqueness but it makes it more beautiful. They are the smartest people, some top of their class, won different inter-school debates and entrepreneurship competitions. They literally made med school less traumatizing, they were my family. I once read a piece and it resonates
deeply with me, it says
“I learnt very early in my life that friends are contagious; if you surround
yourself with loyalty, ambition, kindness, generosity, honesty, optimism, and
empathy that’s what you become” it also says “There are a lot of things you
have to tolerate in life but bad friends cannot be one”.
I couldn’t agree more, i mean this friendship changed my life. I was corrected when wrong. I got several opportunities through their recommendations, when I was confused about major life decisions as deep as who to get married to, they were my voices of reasoning,
You can’t do life alone guys, it’s too risky, you need people; good people, friends that deeply care about you, root for you, pray for you, advice you, and help you up when you are losing it. This means that you have to be a good person yourself cos essentially, you attract who you are and deep calleth unto deep. I believe people like this still exist and you can make one and can also be one to someone else.
Thank me later
Mariam Yekinni is a Physiotherapist by profession, a photographer, an
advocate for the boy-child and a creative.