People are delicate and fluid you have no idea what they become the next day
When I was in secondary school, I had some experiences I’m not so proud of; no they weren’t something I did but what others did to me; I was not in a good place, I had recently experienced failure and that made me weak, fragile and lowly esteemed. I was made fun of, emotionally bullied and one of my room mate even went as far as insulting my late father. For the life of me, I could not understand why anyone would be so mean to another human being. This made me an angry person; I got to a point where I told my self that I would never pull another person down with my own words just to feel good about myself ; and with time, my anger dissolved into so much love and compassion for people. From that moment on, I looked for the weak, the lowly, the fragile and rejected ; made friends with them and also defended them when I have the power to. I became sensitive to people’s emotions and made sure as much as it lies in my hand to treat people with honour, respect and dignity. looking back I am grateful I had to go through those difficult times because it didn’t just make me strong, it gave me a life-long tool that would be useful till my last breath- placing value on people.
Truth is people have taken advantage of this trait that I developed and at times I wish I could be mean and hostile towards them just to pay back but to be very fair, the good people have shown me outweighs the evil.
Human beings are powerful; you can’t afford to be clueless in life. It is rather to your advantage to be kindly predisposed towards others. People are delicate and fluid you have no idea what they become the next day. You can’t afford to be hurtful to another person. The world is filled with enough goodness to go round, make sure you don’t hold yours back when its your turn. Mind you, treating each person with respect and dignity is not for their sake but yours.
When I got into the university I read a book by Dale Carnegie ‘How to win friends and influence people ‘’ this book is so much more than its title page. It is in fact one of the most powerful books I have read on human relationships; it simply fueled more passion in me to treat other people if not better than I treat myself.
I’m sure you are wondering what is in it for you ? I would say everything. Because one person’s dream is another person’s norm. Human beings are ladders that take you from where you are to where you desire to be; so except you want to remain stuck in life, then you can go ahead and treat people wrongly. You see, no matter how powerful, rich or influential you are, you will always need people, not just people in high places but even those in seemingly lowly estates; you will need the janitor, the drivers, nannies, gate keepers etc.
Looking back in my less than three decade of life; I would say I am where I am today by the grace of God and the help of man because even if God answers your prayer, he will still use people as channels.
I remember this particular phrase that was all over social media when Chadwick Boseman died it says ‘ Be kind to others, you don’t know what they are going through “ the reason for this phrase is because of what Chadwick went through shortly before his death; he was insulted for his body structure unknown to people that he was battling cancer. Honestly I was angry at the posts that had this phrase on them simply because I knew it was in the moment and in two weeks tops people would be back to their mean selves. You can’t fake these things, it’s either you are kind or not. It is not something you pretend to be, it is what you become.
Make a decision today to pay your dues and give your share of love and kindness when its your turn.
Written by Mariam Yekinni
Mariam Yekinni is a Physiotherapist by profession, a photographer, an advocate for the boy-child and a creative.