In this Africa, we can be too relaxed about and with everything. We have the tendency of taking every little opportunity and access for granted. How do we create healthy boundaries against nosy people? Those people who do not understand how to ask intelligent questions and where to stay off the line; here are few tips to help you create healthy boundaries so that you do not get to murmur anymore.
1. From the beginning : It is important to let people know who you are, how you want to be treated from the moment of interaction. If they want to come close, it is good to pre-inform them on what you like, what you don’t like; the talks you find engaging and the ones you do not. This is not about doing too much, it is saving yourself a headache before it comes banging on your door.
2. Let your language be plain : Let your communication be clear. If there’s anything you won’t tolerate, you must say it in clear terms, clear language! You cannot be trying to be ‘nice’ and code what you won’t stomach. If there are things you cannot stomach that the other party is dishing out to you; say so in clear terms. It is what you want.
3. Don’t Do Too Much: In this part of the world, everyone wants to be seen as ‘nice’ and very ‘accommodating’ so we tend to want to do too much and somehow shoot ourselves in the leg. I am not saying shouldn’t be nice but don’t overdo it just because you want to be appealing to people. If you don’t look out for yourself, you will end up killing yourself. Be cordial but do not do too much
4. Face The Problem: ‘I don’t want to talk even though it is paining me’. No! This is wrong. This is how we enable people to keep hurting us and we pass the hurt to innocent people. If someone is doing something you do not like, maybe an acquaintance, family member or close friend, please attack the issue. Face the problem not the person. Let them know that this issue is an issue and discuss on how to sort things out. Discuss measures on how not to do such anymore and move ahead. Keeping quiet will make things worse and one day, you will blow out and it will be very destructive.
5. Look For Like Minds: The best thing you can do for yourself is look for those that connect with you and you connect with. This will save you from unnecessary headaches. If you like your space, look for those that do same. If you enjoy making noise, look for people that love making noise just like you.